The Challenges
Because most seniors were raised so much differently than children today are, the prospect of having to raise your grandkids brings a lot of challenge. These challenges are:
Because the census is taken only once every 10 years, the data is a bit skewed. Still, we can see that the increase of grandparents raising grandkids is rising. In 1970, 2.2 million or 3.2 percent of American children lived in a household maintained by a grandparent. In 1997, this figure rose to 3.9 million or 5.5 percent, representing a 76 percent increase over the 27 year period. This increase is not defined by whether or not the parents of the grandchildren were present in the home. Currently, 1.4 million children, or almost 1 in 20, live in a household headed by their grandparents with no parent present. Because most seniors were raised so much differently than children today are, the prospect of having to raise your grandkids brings a lot of challenge. These challenges are:
- Feelings of shock and sadness - your life is disrupted
- Less energy than the youngsters
- Financial obligation - the necessity of living on a fixed income
- Behavior problems - not knowing how to address them
- Legal help - may be necessary if there is evidence of abuse
- Parent involvement - how to control or limit if necessary
You must ask yourself if this situation is going to be a good one for you. There will of course be issues, but the consequences may be such that you will end up seeing your grandkids in a foster home. No grandparent wishes that.
What The Child Brings To The Home
Our children truly are a blessing - ones to be nurtured and cared for, educated and kept from harms way. Children also have a lot to give to an empty nest, where life may seem boring and fruitless. Let's look at what the child has to offer:
- Energy - the boundless energy of a child is heart warming
- Optimism - children haven't had the chance to get cynical
- Laughter - a home without laughter is just a house
- Activity - they help keep you young by being active
- Love - nothing is better than the love of a young child
- Youthfulness - this is a panacea to older people
- Satisfaction - knowing you are doing the right thing
What Grandparents Have To Offer
This relationship is not one-sided. The grandparent also has a role in the children's lives. This provides a good mix for a happy home. Here is what grandparents can bring to the child:
- Maturity - an authority figure and one wise in their ways
- Wisdom - the wisdom of a well lived life
- Stability - a safe, secure home for the children
- Social stability, which young children often need
- A well regimented home with both grandparents usually
- present.
As you can see, this is a good arrangement for both grandchild and grandparent. It this an easy situation? No, it often is not. Butlook on the bright side: Grandparents tend to love their grandchildren at times more than they did their own children. Their working lives are beyond them, and they have more time to devote raising a child.
Support Is Always Available
There are many different support groups for grandparents having grandchildren to raise. Having been raised in a home where "spare the rod and spoil the child" was the general rule, grandparents often have a hard time dealing with this situation. A list of support groups is listed here:
- Support groups - in the community and on the web
- Websites - there are hundreds of grandparent support groups
- available. One of the most popular is dailystrength.org
- Social services - every community has a service that will
- help with everything from funds to mental health support
- Legal services - these are often needed if there is a
- question of custody or abuse is present
- Relatives - they can often help in any situation that is
- too overwhelming for the grandparent
- Government programs - many are available for grandparents,
- both as volunteer and mental health organizations
Being a grandparent raising a child does not need to be overwhelming. Use the resources available, and make the experience a pleasant one for both you and your grandchild.
Financial assistance may be available to help with the added cost of supporting your grandchildren. Places to check: Social Security (www.ssa.gov/kids/parent5.htm). States also offer temporary assistance for needy families (www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa). To search for additional programs please visit www.benefitscheckup.org which is a comprehensive web site designed to help you locate government or private benefits; supplemental income, food stamps, lower energy bills, discounts on prescription medication and much more.
To enroll your children in school or to even seek medical care for your grandchildren, legal guardianship is a requirement. If you need legal advice, please visit www.findlegalhelp.org
Looking for health insurance? You can apply for free or low cost health insurance (depending upon your income) at www.insurekidsnow.gov or call 877-543-7669.
You are not alone in assuming the care of your grandchildren. Support is available, you just have to ask for it. And for whatever it's worth; grandparents willing to raise their grandchildren are the unsung heroes I marvel at for their courage, admire for their generosity and respect for their unconditional love. If brownie points are given for good deeds, then grandparents like yourself will be rewarded 10 fold.
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren:
Census Bureau Facts
SS-158-99
The Grandparents' Perspective
In the most recent Census Bureau statistics, 2.4 million of the nation's families are maintained by grandparents who have one or more of their grandchildren living with them--an increase of 400,000 (19 percent) since 1990. These families comprise 7 percent of all families with children under 18.
Slightly more than half (1.3 million) of these 2.4 million grandparent-maintained families contain both grandparents; 1.0 million have only a grandmother; and 150,000 have only a grandfather.
All in all, 2.3 million grandparent-maintained families contain a grandmother and 1.4 million have a grandfather. The grandfathers are more likely than the grandmothers to be employed (66 percent compared with 51 percent) and to own their home (81 percent compared with 69 percent) but less likely to be poor (12 percent and 23 percent).
Of the grandparents who maintain homes for their grandchildren, 55 percent of grandmothers and 47 percent of grandfathers are not yet age 55. Additionally, 19 percent of grandmothers and 15 percent of grandfathers are under age 45.
About two-thirds of grandparent-maintained families include one or both of the children's parents.
Among grandparent-maintained families, the average household income ranges from $19,750 for those with only a grandmother present to $61,632 for families with both grandparents and at least one of the grandchildren's parents present.
The Grandchildren's Perspective
There are 3.9 million (6 percent) children in the United States living in a grandparent's home, up 76 percent from the 2.2 million (3 percent) who did so in 1970.
Among children in grandparent-headed families, 47 percent live with both grandparents, 47 percent reside with only their grandmother, and 6 percent live with only their grandfather. About two-thirds of these children also reside with at least one of their parents.
Of the children living in a grand-parent's home, 42 percent are white, 36 percent are African American, 17 percent are Hispanic, and 5 percent are Asian or Pacific Islander or American Indian or Alaska Native.
About 670,000 children across the United States live in their grandmother's home with neither their grandfather nor their parents present. About two-thirds of these children are poor. The overall poverty rate for children living in a grandparent's home is 27 percent; for children living in their parents' home, it is 19 percent.
One-half of grandchildren living in a grandparent's home are younger than 6.
With respect to one-third of the children who live in a grandparent's home, the grandparent(s) lacks a high school diploma. In contrast, only one-eighth of children residing in their parents' homes can say the same thing about their parent(s).
For further information on these Census Bureau facts go to the following URL: http:www.census.gov/population/www/documentation/twps0026/twps0026.html
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